Delayed Gratification

Delay? Not in my brain or vocabulary. If I wanted it, I would get it because I could. If something was advertised and it looked appealing, I would I would pick up the phone or my mouse and soon it was on its way. Oh of course, it had to be affordable, but that’s a very flexible word and open to much interpretation. One man or woman’s affordable, is someone else’s splurge and somehow, when the regularity of hefty paychecks had become a given, frugality took a back seat. But now it has become the driver and sits up front, where it belongs.

The funny thing is, it hasn’t much impacted my life. Does that speak to a change in my thought processes or just to the change in my disposable income? Had I been buying into the belief that things would improve my life and perhaps even make me more satisfied? For many people shopping, or acquiring, is a goal, an occupation, a form of entertainment. Is it all of those things because we can afford it to be, or would we make it affordable, no matter what, because it is so important to our lives?

And filling a desire At the moment of desire, is more fun than budgeting and planning which involves making sacrifices. Or does it? It’s a conundrum – that’s the kind of word that I use when I’m truly – this is actually a good place for the past tense of a 4 letter word, but in deference to those who grow older gracefully, I will abstain- Call it what you will, but it is puzzling and it is always difficult for us to define ourselves.

A lot of words, as the old Bard would have said, words signifying nothing and perhaps that is true, but as I grow older, I need to question my values, and in so doing, find a way to value my life. Postponing gratification has brought a feeling of achievement into my life. I can be happy with what I have and I need less.

I think I know where I am. One night, a group of residents where I live, discussed what plans they would make if they won the Lotto. Money for children, travel, college tuition – all commendable choices, but I had decided a while back – I would take the bulk of my money and set up a foundation to help old persons in need. I’m not homeless and I have enough to eat, but old age is tough, and unless you have a working crystal ball- well, you know about the best laid plans.

Delay? In my vocabulary, only not things, but days, hours, moments. I wake up and the day is mine and my Daisy is whining for her breakfast. What a wonderful sound! Oh, and the rent is paid. We’ll work out everything else.

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