It’s Airport Scan, Not Scam

I’m on the scan bandwagon. Ever since I read about the young man who managed to get on a plane with a bomb, in his underpants, I’ve been convinced that we should let it all hang out.I don’t care. I say that it’s better to be red than dead, and besides, have you observed your fellow passengers lately? It’s like going to the beach. You may feel self conscious in your swim suit until you look around at the yards of flesh being uncovered, and with seeming unselfconsciousness, in many cases.

So what’s the big deal, anyway? Not being so touchy feely as many, I would much prefer a little undercover viewing, to being patted down in various places. There are no dangerous rays resulting from a body scan, unless you are actually hiding an explosive device in your intimate garments and then, of course, there will be consequences. Someone suggested that the body scanners should have a mechanism built into them, so that when they are in use and encounter an explosive device such as a bomb, they set off a mini explosion, with just enough force to make the privates of the person being scanned, become public. I have no idea about the logistics of such a step, since even setting off fireworks makes me nervous, but there must be people out there,who are expert in the art of blowing things up.

I do believe, since I am committed to growing older disgracefully, that the safest way to grow older, even as an infrequent flyer, is to be vigilant, since there are those who are apparently committed to keeping many Americans from growing older at all. We can put our heads in the sand and say that we take terrorism too seriously, but the victims of terrorism (if they were still here) would dispute that statement. In this country, we take people’s lives as a serious issue. We protect lives whenever we can, and we never consider a human body as part of an explosive device. People are not bombs and we do not employ them as such to win a war. We do not condone human sacrifice as a guarantee for eternal Paradise. Actually, we offer prayers and we make promises which we try to keep, but guarantees – that would be a scam and not a scan, and like we told you, we’re just talking about scans at the airport. How does all of this grab you?

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