What ever happened to “do unto others”?

Good manners aren’t learned from a book on etiquette, good manners come from the heart. They’re probably something you learned from your parents when you were a wee kiddie and they have  become so ingrained, you don’t have to think before using them.

If, on the other hand, you were brought up by wolves in the forest and have  lived by the laws of the jungle, there may be a difference. That means that since no one ever taught you what good manners are, you are possibly,completely ignorant of how humans should interact.

Fortunately for me, I was the product of a “do unto others home” and so I say I’m sorry, even when I’m the one who has been bumped into. I try to treat the people who provide services to me – waiters,sales persons, clerks- who are sometimes themselves rude, in a manner that is courteous , while not becoming a doormat. I guess it does boil down to how I would like to be treated, and although I confess to not bearing the slightest resemblance to a saint, I try not to be hurtful and to be respectful when possible. Not always possible, I guiltily admit, but we mortals do have issues with control at times, especially as we grow older disgracefully.

However, and there is always a however. My friend, a senior, like myself, recently had an experience which left her feeling disgusted with the human race. She has been widowed for the past year, and after a period of mourning, and feeling very alone, she decided to go onto the Internet to try to  meet a friend or companion or a man who might turn out to be both, but time would tell.

Well, she joined a certain dating web site and was contacted by several men who expressed an interest in finding out more about her. She was emailed and responded, a little hesitant because this was a very new experience,  but she tried to be forthright and honest, as well as kind. What surprised her was the discovery that although she had been contacted, sometimes men responded and sometimes they didn’t, kind of leaving her feeling left at the church. So they weren’t interested? It’s okay. Just email back that you’ve already met the love of your life or some other B.S story and nobody gets hurt.

I’m not saying that only guys do this,  but in Florida, where I live,women outnumber the men by far and being in the driver’s seat, men more often seem to hit and run. Sure, this is the age of technology, but some things are the same. Until we all become robots, with emotions that can be replaced by something more substantial, we need to use kindness as the oil for our perishable parts. Don’t say that your mother never taught you. There’s lots of things you’ve learned by yourself.

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